Resistance is futile

Why is it that when realize that we have given out too much, we tend to withdraw? Is it because we ‘re afraid that people won’t reciprocate or because our sense of self-preservation kicks in and we want to reveal as little about ourselves as possible? Or perhaps it’s because we believe that resistance is futile; that no matter what we do we can’t supersede what is already perceived as the convenient truth?

There is definitely an answer to this question–or some scientific research about the human psyche that would explain this phenomena, but admit it, it does happen every once in a while. And I write about this because I believe this is big for me; that somehow figuring this one out would lead me to a personality change that would otherwise never be conquered.

You may think withdrawal starts when we experience rejection, but in this case it is quite the contrary. It was once mentioned in a study that the areas in the brain that light up when we feel disconnected or unappreciated are the same parts that light up when we feel physical pain. This is solely for that emotion alone, hence it is different from when we feel sadness or fear. Rejection hurts, yes. But sometimes we can fight this emotion. Sometimes rejection becomes a signal that we either fight for it or give it up altogether. Sometimes rejection is easier because then we know that we can finally give ourselves an out, that we choose not to take anyone’s shit and can therefore just walk away. On the surface it looks tough, but for me rejection is a powerful switch that we can use when we choose not to feel, and would help us to be tremendously numb–albeit the numbness being a temporary cure, but what the hell right? Nobody gives a fuck anyway.

What I want to deconstruct here is the fact that some of us become withdrawn for a reason. This can be highly complicated: do we become withdrawn when we think we have given too much? Or because we feel neglected and unappreciated that’s why we choose not to give out pieces of us any more than what has already been given?