Today was the end of a very short chapter in my life.

Woke up today thinking about how I would react in the office once I said my goodbyes. Would they give me something? Would I cry?

I did not expect the surge of warmth I felt when I actually said farewell. It was different– in such a way that for the first time, the goodbyes actually meant something to me. It did not feel empty. It did not feel as if I’m just a passing being, something they would forget in minutes. It felt comforting to be treated special. Learn to be happy at times, they said. Learn how to say “if this isn’t nice, then I don’t know what is.” Well, this is my nice.

For the first time I did not feel panic at the thought of them forgetting about me in an instant. Somehow, life would remain the same but completely different - I would now revolve in separate circles, but I am quite certain that I will never cut ties with them. Even though thoughts about them being indifferent or cold affects me in a way that cuts deep. I admit I feel so damn lonely when I think that I’d never exist in the same circle again. No more office jokes, or chats, no more smiling and laughing like crazy…

This is the point wherein I tell myself that I actually chose this end, and it’s a good choice. I have to look forward and create the best possible situation out there, really follow my dreams and do what I want in life.

It is important that I stay focused and motivated to keep up with myself.

I will do this because I can, and because I want to.

Life might be bleak right now… this company and the people there really gave me an experience like no other. I just hope not to regret this choice, and I hope better things will really come.